....355 to go. Yesterday was a good day. I did not overeat, I made good choices at each meal and I was STARVING, but I got through the day. When I overindulge for weeks on end it usually takes a good 4 to 5 days for my body to realize that I'm really not starving it.
I had oatmeal for breakfast, a salad from Wendy's, 1 serving of chocolate teddy grahams for a snack and then for dinner I diced a boneless skinless chicken breast seasoned with fajita seasoning and some sliced new potatoes. I saute'd the chicken and potatoes in frying pan using butter flavored pam and added about 1/4 can of rotel tomatoes. When it was done cooking I sprinkled a tad of parmesan cheese and voila I had a nice tasty low calorie/low fat meal.
Today has started well already, I had oatmeal and a banana for breakfast. I went shopping for healthy stuff last night, so that will make it easier. Although I wish that McAlister's had nutrition information available for their menu. We always eat there on Wednesday night and I have no idea what my best option would be. Probably turkey on wheat? Oh fun, its hard enough to decide each time I go what I want, now I have to figure out what is healthiest, I guess I'll have a salad.
Nothing much going on today, just work and then church this evening. I'm chomping at the bit to get to ASF and spend some of my gift certificate that I got for my birthday, thanks M&D. I hope the sale doesn't end before I can get there, but we shall see. I keep hoping that soon I'll have time to plan for a Friday night crop, but I can't see that far ahead yet...maybe it can happen sooner than I think. I just want to SCRAP!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
On the road again....
....are ya'll tired of the same old song? I am but nonetheless I am on it. I did manage not to gain any weight this week, not exactly sure how I managed but I'm not complaining. So today is the first day of the rest of my life, isn't it nice that every day can be "that day", that God's mercy is new every morning and that His grace is truly sufficient for me. I am so very thankful that He doesn't give up and that with His Spirit living on the inside of me, I can never give up. I will keep fighting this fight and continue working towards my goals. According to that pretty little countdown clock over to the right I have 356 days left to get there. So today is as good as any to get started.
We did go get half of our grocery shopping done last night. We buy our meat at Kroger cause well, its just better than walmart. So we got that done last night and they had their boneless skinless chicken breasts for $1.87/pound, I was excited about that, I love chicken and can't wait to figure out some fun healthy ways to cook it. Rocky doesn't really like chicken, but I have come to the conclusion that most of the time he's not even home so why does it matter if he likes it or not, if I'm really cooking for myself? I can buy pork chops and chicken and fix him a chop and me chicken and voila...I have chicken and he doesn't. Sheesh...can somebody tell me why it took over 16 years to figure that out? Oh well, at least I've figured it out, that's what matters.
Tonight I'll go to Walmart and finish the shopping for all the other things we need. I know nobody probably really cares about my shopping but I'm bored so well I'm rambling in my blog, so if your bored ---- click the "X"!
I have a word for the week:
MODERATION - the quality of being moderate; restraint; avoidance of extremes or excesses; temperance.
Not only is this my word but it is also my focus. So for the rest of this week I am going to focus on avoiding excess and extreme amounts of food or unheatlhy items. Maybe having a focus will help me stay on track and see some progress this week.
So here I go off and running and hopefully doing something different will bring a different result, does that mean I'm moving beyond insanity?? Cause we all know insanity means to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. So if I do something different and expect a different result that must mean I'm bordering on being reasonably sane..RIGHT??
We did go get half of our grocery shopping done last night. We buy our meat at Kroger cause well, its just better than walmart. So we got that done last night and they had their boneless skinless chicken breasts for $1.87/pound, I was excited about that, I love chicken and can't wait to figure out some fun healthy ways to cook it. Rocky doesn't really like chicken, but I have come to the conclusion that most of the time he's not even home so why does it matter if he likes it or not, if I'm really cooking for myself? I can buy pork chops and chicken and fix him a chop and me chicken and voila...I have chicken and he doesn't. Sheesh...can somebody tell me why it took over 16 years to figure that out? Oh well, at least I've figured it out, that's what matters.
Tonight I'll go to Walmart and finish the shopping for all the other things we need. I know nobody probably really cares about my shopping but I'm bored so well I'm rambling in my blog, so if your bored ---- click the "X"!
I have a word for the week:
MODERATION - the quality of being moderate; restraint; avoidance of extremes or excesses; temperance.
Not only is this my word but it is also my focus. So for the rest of this week I am going to focus on avoiding excess and extreme amounts of food or unheatlhy items. Maybe having a focus will help me stay on track and see some progress this week.
So here I go off and running and hopefully doing something different will bring a different result, does that mean I'm moving beyond insanity?? Cause we all know insanity means to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. So if I do something different and expect a different result that must mean I'm bordering on being reasonably sane..RIGHT??
Monday, March 17, 2008
Weekend Roundup....
.....Friday night was pre-wedding girl night. The guys went to eat at Sal & Phil's and apparently had a good time. We (Wendy, Dawn, Dawn, Mom & Me) hung out and did girlie stuff at Wendy's house. We ate yummy sandwiches w/chips & dip, then enjoyed snacking on cheese, crackers, grapes and chocolate covered strawberries. Then we watched as Wendy colored and highlighted Dawn's hair and did her fingernail and toenails. We had a spa night with parafin wax for our hands and nice relaxing candles...we had stuff for our feet but never got around to doing that, I guess we were to relaxed to go to the trouble. Anyways we had a great time and all was well even after Wendy got out the "hacksaw"...which she used to make the stems even on the beautiful flowers that she braided together with ribbon.
Okay so does she look 13 to you??? They grow up way to fast, and it doesn't help that she is wearing makeup now and 5'7"!!!
The wedding went off without a hitch. It was simple and beautiful. Dawn was glowing and gorgeous. I'd love to say I got a lot of great photos, but in reality...I DID NOT. Ack. Oh well, I guess I'll wait till we have professional ones to look at, thank God she had a professional or it would be really a bad scene right now. I did get a few good ones of them shoving cake in each others face and got a good one of the flowers that Dawn & Hannah carried down the aisle and I got a good one of the cake. So it's official they are legally man & wife, Mr. & Mrs. Salters. Woo hoo...way to go Dawn & Todd...CONGRATULATIONS & BEST WISHES!!
Okay so does she look 13 to you??? They grow up way to fast, and it doesn't help that she is wearing makeup now and 5'7"!!!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
The day after....
...and I still don't really have a plan. I know that my goal is to drop 10% of my weight and to focus strictly on that at this moment. My intention is to shop for healthy items at some point this weekend and to make healthy choices, to eat less and move more. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I had a nice 10 day long birthday. As you have likely read my friends threw me a nice party on the 1st, then I had lunch with a few friends on the 7th, then dinner with the inlaws on the 8th, during the weekend I started feeling pretty crummy and woke up on my birthday feeling awful and thinking that I had pink eye. It ended up not being pink eye, just cold symptoms in my eye, its still a bit icky but my better than it was.
I have to verify it with my mom but I think we may be rescheduling the family dinner thing for Sunday lunch, it will be a record I will have managed to continue my birthday celebrations out for over 2 weeks time. Go me. I usually shoot for at leat 1whole week.
I want to say thanks to those of you who read my last post and knew how I felt and had words of comfort, understanding and encouragement to share with me. Knowing that somebody else looks at my situation and can be inspired by my walk is helpful in keeping me focused on going the right direction. It often makes the rough path worth it to know it helped somebody else along their own path.
I had a nice 10 day long birthday. As you have likely read my friends threw me a nice party on the 1st, then I had lunch with a few friends on the 7th, then dinner with the inlaws on the 8th, during the weekend I started feeling pretty crummy and woke up on my birthday feeling awful and thinking that I had pink eye. It ended up not being pink eye, just cold symptoms in my eye, its still a bit icky but my better than it was.
I have to verify it with my mom but I think we may be rescheduling the family dinner thing for Sunday lunch, it will be a record I will have managed to continue my birthday celebrations out for over 2 weeks time. Go me. I usually shoot for at leat 1whole week.
I want to say thanks to those of you who read my last post and knew how I felt and had words of comfort, understanding and encouragement to share with me. Knowing that somebody else looks at my situation and can be inspired by my walk is helpful in keeping me focused on going the right direction. It often makes the rough path worth it to know it helped somebody else along their own path.
Make a choice for your wedding sis????
This is your 1st page of your wedding album also...not necessary the 1st in the album, just the 1st one that is completed.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Time for change...
....and no I'm not talking about the fact that we spring forward this weekend.
This post might very well be the most difficult thing I've ever written for anybody else to see and yet I hope maybe it will be a key to unlocking the insanity of my food addiction(doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result).
I am a food addict and feel like a failure. And now what do I do with that and where do I go from here....there was a time in my past that I even tried a 12 step program and it was so not right for me, so in reality I know where I go from here, the only place where I can truly get the help I need, the One, the Only, My Creator. I am thankful that His Grace is sufficient for me.
I know that with God all things are possible and that my biggest problem is not calling on Him when the food is calling to me. When I find myself surrounded and overwhelmed by situations I need to get to a place of running to my Heavenly Father and not to the food. When food is part of an equation I have to find a way to rely on Him to be my strength so that I can overcome eating to much or to often. I don't just run to food when I'm upset or sad or angry, I run to food when I'm happy and celebrating and have even been known to celebrate weight loss with food. Where in the world does that make sense? It doesn't...I know...I'm aware and yet, I find myself doing it again and again.
Disclaimer: As I go forward I want everybody to know that my Faith in Him and His reality, His love, His forgiveness and His sacrifice for me is real and true and deep seeded within me, but that as I work through this there are realities within me that sometimes question my worthiness, not His
I believe that a large part of my problems is that I have very little self esteem and very little faith in myself and my abilities to succeed. Maybe that is why my faith in this area is so uncertain. My head knows that He'll never leave or forsake me, but I feel so guilty and unworthy when I fall that its hard to keep running back to the foot of the cross for the same issue over and over again. My heart continues to wonder if I'll be the one to push Him to far. My head knows the truth, knows that the word says He's forgotten it once forgiven, its in the sea of forgetfulness, but yet, still there it is, very real and very much a part of who I am in me. I know the answer to the question is to know within my heart that its not who I am in me that matters, but who I am in Christ, that is who He sees when He looks at me. Not my failures or my inabilities to stay focused on my heatlh and weight issues, God looks at me and sees the beauty of what He created through the blood of His Son. But knowing this and finding comfort in it within myself are 2 different stories.
I was watching Biggest Loser last night and the contestants had returned to the hospital to be retested for all the things they had done when they began their journey 10 weeks ago. It was amazing to see how much their health had improved. I have been fortunate with my weight and have not really had a lot of health issues, but how long can that last? How long before there is a real issue and its my fault because I couldn't figure out how to change my lifestyle for the long term? The doctor speaking to the contestants said something to them that really grabbed a hold of me and its something I've always wrestled with and the simple fact is that after the loss there has to be maintenance. This is not something I can take an antibiotic for and it will make me all better. This is a lifetime battle and apparently I have yet to figure out how to accept that its forever and not just a year. My goal is to reach a place where I am comfortable in my own skin and can do anything I want to do. I want to have ambitions beyond my next meal. I want to be successful and feel like my life has not been wasted on food and feeling sorry for myself because of food. I want there to be something to show for the life I lived and since there are no children it's up to me to create my own legacy. That means feeling good about me, having energy and a desire to get up off the couch and go out and greet the world head on and see what I have to offer.
How do I get there? What can I do to change things, how do I wrap my mind around food not being my companion. How do I stay focused beyond the next event where food is the focus. I need answers and I hoped that writing all this down and posting it for the world to read would help but at this moment I still don't know the answer. I want to feel good, I want to want to eat healthy, I want to want to exercise. I remember what it felt like to go shopping and find clothes that I liked that fit right, yet it didn't last long. When I got to that place the "maintenance" was forgotten. It became easier and easier to slide back into old habits and end up right back where I started from...fat and lazy. I don't want to be "that me" anymore. And, yet, I can't seem to find the way to change and its frustrating. The struggle and the battle is exhausting and when I get tired and frustrated....I EAT. I find myself lately not even being hungry yet eating out of boredom yet not having the energy to get up and do anything. Even my house is suffering because of the downward spiral into food being my first and last thoughts of every moment.
I will be praying and seeking God again to help me find a way to overcome and triumph over this longtime enemy. If only I could walk away from it completely. I quit smoking many years ago because I could walk away, but with food it is a necessity to sustaining life. Maybe that is why liquid diets work so well, you drink for sustenance and live your life. Yet, I know that can't last forever and then you still have to learn to exist with food as part of your life again during the maintenance phase.
My birthday is this coming Monday, my goal has not changed, I desire to be Fabulous by Forty, I will have a solution and will see change by my 40th birthday which is just over 1 year away, keep reading, keep praying and I need all the encouragement you have to offer as I begin again the journey in the right direction.
My doctor told me in September that 1/4 of the battle is not giving up, even when you are down as long as its on your mind and you still have a conscience regarding your weight and health you are 25% better off than the ones who just don't care. So caring and wanting to change do count for something. I am determined and therefore I will find a way to WIN and have the VICTORY. Thanks for being out there and loving me beyond my quirks. God bless you all.
This post might very well be the most difficult thing I've ever written for anybody else to see and yet I hope maybe it will be a key to unlocking the insanity of my food addiction(doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result).
I am a food addict and feel like a failure. And now what do I do with that and where do I go from here....there was a time in my past that I even tried a 12 step program and it was so not right for me, so in reality I know where I go from here, the only place where I can truly get the help I need, the One, the Only, My Creator. I am thankful that His Grace is sufficient for me.
I know that with God all things are possible and that my biggest problem is not calling on Him when the food is calling to me. When I find myself surrounded and overwhelmed by situations I need to get to a place of running to my Heavenly Father and not to the food. When food is part of an equation I have to find a way to rely on Him to be my strength so that I can overcome eating to much or to often. I don't just run to food when I'm upset or sad or angry, I run to food when I'm happy and celebrating and have even been known to celebrate weight loss with food. Where in the world does that make sense? It doesn't...I know...I'm aware and yet, I find myself doing it again and again.
Disclaimer: As I go forward I want everybody to know that my Faith in Him and His reality, His love, His forgiveness and His sacrifice for me is real and true and deep seeded within me, but that as I work through this there are realities within me that sometimes question my worthiness, not His
I believe that a large part of my problems is that I have very little self esteem and very little faith in myself and my abilities to succeed. Maybe that is why my faith in this area is so uncertain. My head knows that He'll never leave or forsake me, but I feel so guilty and unworthy when I fall that its hard to keep running back to the foot of the cross for the same issue over and over again. My heart continues to wonder if I'll be the one to push Him to far. My head knows the truth, knows that the word says He's forgotten it once forgiven, its in the sea of forgetfulness, but yet, still there it is, very real and very much a part of who I am in me. I know the answer to the question is to know within my heart that its not who I am in me that matters, but who I am in Christ, that is who He sees when He looks at me. Not my failures or my inabilities to stay focused on my heatlh and weight issues, God looks at me and sees the beauty of what He created through the blood of His Son. But knowing this and finding comfort in it within myself are 2 different stories.
I was watching Biggest Loser last night and the contestants had returned to the hospital to be retested for all the things they had done when they began their journey 10 weeks ago. It was amazing to see how much their health had improved. I have been fortunate with my weight and have not really had a lot of health issues, but how long can that last? How long before there is a real issue and its my fault because I couldn't figure out how to change my lifestyle for the long term? The doctor speaking to the contestants said something to them that really grabbed a hold of me and its something I've always wrestled with and the simple fact is that after the loss there has to be maintenance. This is not something I can take an antibiotic for and it will make me all better. This is a lifetime battle and apparently I have yet to figure out how to accept that its forever and not just a year. My goal is to reach a place where I am comfortable in my own skin and can do anything I want to do. I want to have ambitions beyond my next meal. I want to be successful and feel like my life has not been wasted on food and feeling sorry for myself because of food. I want there to be something to show for the life I lived and since there are no children it's up to me to create my own legacy. That means feeling good about me, having energy and a desire to get up off the couch and go out and greet the world head on and see what I have to offer.
How do I get there? What can I do to change things, how do I wrap my mind around food not being my companion. How do I stay focused beyond the next event where food is the focus. I need answers and I hoped that writing all this down and posting it for the world to read would help but at this moment I still don't know the answer. I want to feel good, I want to want to eat healthy, I want to want to exercise. I remember what it felt like to go shopping and find clothes that I liked that fit right, yet it didn't last long. When I got to that place the "maintenance" was forgotten. It became easier and easier to slide back into old habits and end up right back where I started from...fat and lazy. I don't want to be "that me" anymore. And, yet, I can't seem to find the way to change and its frustrating. The struggle and the battle is exhausting and when I get tired and frustrated....I EAT. I find myself lately not even being hungry yet eating out of boredom yet not having the energy to get up and do anything. Even my house is suffering because of the downward spiral into food being my first and last thoughts of every moment.
I will be praying and seeking God again to help me find a way to overcome and triumph over this longtime enemy. If only I could walk away from it completely. I quit smoking many years ago because I could walk away, but with food it is a necessity to sustaining life. Maybe that is why liquid diets work so well, you drink for sustenance and live your life. Yet, I know that can't last forever and then you still have to learn to exist with food as part of your life again during the maintenance phase.
My birthday is this coming Monday, my goal has not changed, I desire to be Fabulous by Forty, I will have a solution and will see change by my 40th birthday which is just over 1 year away, keep reading, keep praying and I need all the encouragement you have to offer as I begin again the journey in the right direction.
My doctor told me in September that 1/4 of the battle is not giving up, even when you are down as long as its on your mind and you still have a conscience regarding your weight and health you are 25% better off than the ones who just don't care. So caring and wanting to change do count for something. I am determined and therefore I will find a way to WIN and have the VICTORY. Thanks for being out there and loving me beyond my quirks. God bless you all.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
It's almost my birthday....
....so on Saturday night family and friends gathered to celebrate. We had amazing food and fun fun times. Lots of love and laughter, and gifts of course there were gifts...must find time to make some thank you cards and get them in the mail so that all of my nearest and dearest know how much I appreciate them.
My cake, oh my goodness my cake, if there are any other Bop's Snappy Turtle lovers out there, you are about to be drooling. Yes, you read it here Bop's is now doing ice cream cakes and theirs actually have cake in them....oooohhhhhhhhh aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh and yes my Birthday Cake was a Snappy Turtle, it was absolutely awesome, if only I had remembered to take the remainder of it home with me I could have added a few more pounds to what I've already gained. Therefore, I guess its a good thing that Mark & Wendy are enjoying the rest of it and not I.....*sigh*.
They also had a fabulous wonderful exciting delightfully perfect surprise for me. A very dear friend who due to some difficult circumstances had been a bit estranged, but to my extreme pleasure was present at my birthday party. I want to say openly how much it meant to me for her to attend and make my birthday even more special than it already was. Donna I love you!
I also want to say thanks to all of my guests for the gifts, the food, the love and all that you add to my life on a daily basis. I am honored to have the best parents ever, a sister who keeps me on my toes and of course the lovely Toddly who is almost my brother in law (less than 2 weeks to go), Wendy who is the little sister God gave me from another momma and her husband Mark, and lastly but definitely not least...Dawn and Jeff and they know what they mean to me, cause well I think its pretty obvious and of course to my amazing loving husband who is always the life of my party in every way possible. You are all a blessing to me and I can't imagine my life without any of you ---- so don't go anywhere!
It was a night of precious moments and priceless memories.
My cake, oh my goodness my cake, if there are any other Bop's Snappy Turtle lovers out there, you are about to be drooling. Yes, you read it here Bop's is now doing ice cream cakes and theirs actually have cake in them....oooohhhhhhhhh aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh and yes my Birthday Cake was a Snappy Turtle, it was absolutely awesome, if only I had remembered to take the remainder of it home with me I could have added a few more pounds to what I've already gained. Therefore, I guess its a good thing that Mark & Wendy are enjoying the rest of it and not I.....*sigh*.
They also had a fabulous wonderful exciting delightfully perfect surprise for me. A very dear friend who due to some difficult circumstances had been a bit estranged, but to my extreme pleasure was present at my birthday party. I want to say openly how much it meant to me for her to attend and make my birthday even more special than it already was. Donna I love you!
I also want to say thanks to all of my guests for the gifts, the food, the love and all that you add to my life on a daily basis. I am honored to have the best parents ever, a sister who keeps me on my toes and of course the lovely Toddly who is almost my brother in law (less than 2 weeks to go), Wendy who is the little sister God gave me from another momma and her husband Mark, and lastly but definitely not least...Dawn and Jeff and they know what they mean to me, cause well I think its pretty obvious and of course to my amazing loving husband who is always the life of my party in every way possible. You are all a blessing to me and I can't imagine my life without any of you ---- so don't go anywhere!
It was a night of precious moments and priceless memories.
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