The return to what works...

....and here's to hoping that I will work it. Yup, you are reading it here first, I, Robin Garrard, am returning to Weight Watchers.....*sigh*. I do not know why I fought this decision, maybe because it is the not the first time that I've walked away and found myself returning and I suppose that is my pride. Admitting that walking away was a wrong decision and that I in fact am not infallible, not that I think I am, but we all know how pride works...it goes before a fall and well I've fallen and have not been able to get back up. Yesterday I ate literally to the point of being miserable and when I did it, I KNEW I WAS DOING IT! What is wrong with that picture? I know what is wrong with the picture....ME.

The bible tells us that without a vision the people perish. Well, then He says to "write the vision". Okay, so I've had the vision of seeing myself Fabulous by Forty...but what I have I done about writing the vision. I've played with this plan or that plan and one of them even actually worked for about 6 weeks earlier in the year, but again with no true vision of where I am going and what I'm doing I always end up right back where I started...FAT AND MISERABLE.

A dear friend gathered her guts and stood up to me and my situation this morning. Pointed out that there was a time when I was truly an inspiration and not because of what I was saying but because I was walking in victory. I was dedicated and successful and in fact she is now doing WW and loving it and being successful herself. She bluntly reminded me that I had done it before and that she was concerned that if I didn't return to it that not just my physical health was at stake but my mental health was at stake. She was serious, real and to the point yet not confrontational, condeming or judgemental. Her words spoke volumes to my heart and got my attention and for that I am truly thankful and if you are reading you know who you are and I love ya for it.

I was going through some old emails today as I was cleaning out one of my personal folders and came across one where my signature line said..."Nothing tastes as good as SKINNY feels" and it made me sad to realize that I was so close to getting there and let circumstance and things in my life pull me back to food. I want to be there again, I want to have that same feeling of success and victory and looking in the mirror and liking the person looking back at me and its not just about vanity, its about feeling good and having self esteem because I'm successful and so although I have not discussed the expense of it with my husband yet, I am certain he will say its okay, I will be rejoining WW online as soon as they send me an email where I can skip the registration fee again (the plummer depleted the budget yesterday, sigh), my friend is going to get me a points counter on Saturday morning so I can go ahead and get started that day and our weigh in will be the same day. She goes to meetings and personally that is just not my cup of tea, I feel out of place and like a wallflower and like my money is going down a deep dark hole just for me to stand on a scale in front of somebody else, I can do that at home in front of my husband for free.

So there ya have it, me on a new leg of my journey, I consider this post me "writing the vision", because now there is a plan in place one that I know works and I'm getting more excited by the moment and it's a good thing since that countdown clock gets closer to my 40th birthday.

Please don't get tired of my journey, stick with me, I'm determined to get where I'm going in one piece and all of your encouraging comments help more than you know. Soon I'll be boring you with posting my food and points again so there is accountability. You can obviously skip reading those if you so choose to.